Hey Beautiful,

 

Yes to each and every one of you do I refer J. Every time I visit our blog I smile and something tender in me is just released which makes it so sad that I rarely visit it. How are all of you? Like really?

 

I am busy and busy but honestly I wonder if it has  utility. I finally joined a cell group in my neighbourhood. Surprisingly we are all chics and all single. It’s actually funny but we are so outspoken and so frank and honest . Awesomely amazing. We met for the first time at this chics house..WHICH I LOVEEEEEEEEEE….and just spent time getting to know each other despite the fact that we are like3 or 4  lessons behind every other cell group from Church..but it was awesome. So this week we were to do the first lesson and really go in depth. My church is really into each individual discovering their purpose and fulfilling that purpose. The first lesson focuses on asking questions regarding who you are and who you think you are…whether you are living your dreams…do you even know them..and praying for wisdom…your mandate…your belief in God and commitment to God….etc

 

 

I woke up some morning and for real I couldn’t or if I’m brutally honest WOULDN’T go there…I feel like that is a point of vulnerability that I don’t want to either go/reveal/deal with f that makes sense. All I know is that I am Faith. I have been a lot of things bad will probably be a lot of things but right now I am Faith. The depth of that I feel like I probably figured it out and either lost it/ forgot it or walked away from it..but when all is said and done I am Faith. There are a lot of qualities that I embody and that I have exhibited but I fail to find one single one that defines me. For with each that I thought conclusively defined me I have acted or made decisions contrary to those very same qualities or traits…so I am not an adjective.

 

Talking of dreams there are things I yearn yet those I feel are also not permanent as at one point I was wholeheartedly convinced of one dream or the other only for that to change and for the life of me I cannot imagine living life s I had imagined it. I feel I have several abilities and passions but uncertainty surrounds each. The image that comes to mind is a hexagon trying to fit in a circle or square hole….it will go in to a certain extent but it’s not a  perfect fit…and so that is what I am looking for….a perfect fit…in who I am and what I do that that is congruence in my values and day to day life. That takes me back to what my values are…and takes me back to who I’m I?

 

 

One of the questions I have to answer before Thursday are what 5 things would I change right now in my life?..Suspiciously I think I know..deep within me..whether I am willing to consciously think about it leave alone talk about it to any other person..is another thing

 

Enough of wool gathering….I read some of the earlier post we all wrote and wow such faith and innocence….